5 Keys to Confident Communication
How to guarantee a captive audience
We’ve all been there; heart pounding fiercely in your chest, sweaty palms, a combination of sahara-like-desert dryness in your mouth coupled with crazy amounts of excess saliva all at the same time. You get up to deliver a pitch, you’re sharing a testimony in church, or you’ve felt the Holy Spirit nudge to open up to a stranger about your faith. The fear of stepping out of our comfort zone can be crippling. But, what if I told you great communicators are made, not born?! Sure, as with most attributes there are those that carry a greater measure and seem naturally gifted with eloquent communication skills. But do not discount yourself from believing you have the power to be a clear, effective and powerful communicator. Using these 5 tips below we trust that you’ll be able to unlock that spirited speech stirring deep within.
Be Prepared
Failing to plan is planning to fail. I’ve lived by this as a teacher, and there have been times I’ve died by this too if I’m honest! Workload has piled on, time has elapsed and I’ve walked into a classroom not fully prepared as to how I’m going to purposefully fill the lesson ahead. I’m sure that isn’t familiar to you though?! ;-) And of course there are days when I wing it and by God’s grace my students come away having learnt something useful. But the times when I actually plan and prepare the lesson is just better. Always better! I know my material. I know the end goal. I’m in the zone. So irrespective of what you’re trying to communicate, it’s always good to have a plan. Even if it’s a spontaneous coffee shop meet up, what’s the end goal? What do you want the outcome of this encounter to be? A few years ago, I made this my goal - to leave people happier than they were when we started talking. Confident communication definitely helps make this goal more achievable.
2. If necessary, use words
So much of what we say is in our bodies and the tone of our voice. That’s why there’s no substitute for in-person communication. Smiling is a hugely underrated key to confident communication. It softens you, it also softens the listener. Look into their eyes. As the old saying goes they are, after all, the window to the soul. This will help with gauging how the conversation is going, and you’ll be able to adjust other aspects accordingly. Don’t forget to breathe, whether you’re talking to an audience of 500 or 5, or even if it’s a 1-1 conversation, don’t forget to breathe! It’ll give you time to pace yourself and for those who are listening it’ll give them time to process what you’re saying. This is probably one of my biggest battles - especially when I’m passionate about a particular topic! It’s important to consider what others might be hearing from you, so make sure you allow time for them to catch it all.
3. Love to laugh
Humour is infectious. People connect with funny. Whether you believe you’re funny or not it’s important to be able to enjoy some lightness and ease in the conversation. Be the joybringer. It’s a great skill being able to make others laugh. And not in the worldy sense or for the sake of ‘banter’, which can so often be at another's expense. Enjoying time together, a little joke, or recounting something funny will help ease any tension you might feel. How can you be fearful if everyone is laughing? And even if it’s a story that you’re telling about yourself where something didn’t quite go to plan, at least they’re laughing because you’ve given them permission to; with you rather than at you! I’d be surprised if you can stay nervous when you’re sharing a joke with others. Keep some one-liners or silly jokes in your back pocket for such occasions. It’s easier to make someone cry than it is to make them laugh, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to crack that smile. It also goes to show the power of laughter in any form of communication. If you’re able to release endorphins as you communicate it will create a bond among the group and release feelings of togetherness. You’ll have your audience rooting for you. If they feel good about themselves they’ll feel good about you too.
4. Dress to Impress
This one is a bit more contentious. There’ll be those of you reading who would argue that we shouldn’t be defined by our outward appearance. Whilst I agree to some extent I do believe that the whole package is important. Whether we like it or not, an opinion about us is formed within 60 seconds (more recent research claims even less time). Of course some of that will be our manners, whether we smile, or even how we smell. And whilst it’s important to stay true to yourself and your own sense of style, it’s also sensible to give some thought to your outfit. Now obviously it can’t be helped if you find yourself ordering a latte after your HIIT class, and I’ve no doubt you can still make a great first impression here too, but if you’re heading into an interview or meeting your mortgage advisor it’s best to consider the kind of impression you want to give through your clothes. Most importantly though you must feel comfortable. When you’re comfortable, you’re more likely to feel confident too. Remember that when we express ourselves we’re not just using our voice, we give away a lot about who we are through what we wear.
5. Fake it ‘til you make it
Last, but definitely by no means least, requires the skill of bravery and courage. This one is something you have to push through. It may not come naturally. It isn’t always easy. But like I said at the start, you can grow into a confident and clear communicator. Confidence is a choice. Regardless of the sweaty palms and tight knot forming in your throat, you can choose to push past the fear and deliver a knock-out speech. And let’s face it, what’s there to fear anyway? People are only people at the end of the day! The more you commit to engaging in new ways to communicate the more your confidence will grow. Practice may not always make perfect but it certainly does help us develop. It sharpens our skills and enables us to more confidently step out with our voice. So whether your knees are knocking or the words start as a squeak, keep pressing forward. Believe in yourself. Choose confidence.
So what’s next?
As it says in Proverbs, you always have a choice. Words will either bring life or they will bring death. It’s up to you, not just what you say, but how you say it too. Are there any of these which come naturally to you? Which one needs a bit more practice? Try putting these 5 principles into practice when you go about your day-to-day living. You’ll have people hanging on your words and be sure to captivate your audience. Use a mirror to help you; yes it will feel weird but I promise it will feel less weird the next time you have to deliver an important message outside in the big wide world. And most importantly - remember to keep it classy!
Love from Ro
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