He Calls Me Daughter: Jax's Story
My Dad left my life when I was four. He actually stated to the court that he did not wish to have any access to me, so my Mum and I were on our own. I never knew him as a dad in any form since he had been at sea with the Navy for the previous four years. In the ‘70s divorce was uncommon and I was one of the only kids in school with just one parent. I felt it keenly, the rejection from my dad. It’s something that I still have to work on to this day.
I opened my life to Jesus when I was 15, because it just made sense to me. Since that moment I have grown in the knowledge that I have the best Dad. The Dad who never fails me. The Dad who is always there, never lets go and holds me when life is rubbish.
Forever Faithful
Sometimes I forget who I am, but He never forgets.
I remember being 18, talking to my youth group about how amazing it is to have God as your Dad. Praying to my Pappa God, not with lack of reverence, but total assurance of whose I was. As I have grown older it has changed to Father God, but I think I need to remember that God is our Pappa too. A remember to come to God as a little girl would her Daddy.
In my late 20s I was struggling with being single and lonely. I had a job I loved and attended Church. But thought I had no one to share it with. Waking up one morning, the sun streaming into my room, I was wrapped in my duvet all toasty and warm. It was like I could feel God around me, hugging me and holding me. A physical sensation of being loved so deeply. A feeling that I just didn’t want to let go of. I remember laying there just being in His presence, not wanting to get up.
Always learning
It’s only recently that I have thought of myself as HIS daughter, turning the tables on Him being my Dad. To hold myself with poise because of who I am, and who He is. I’m reminded of the intimacy between father and daughter. Recently, as I sat quietly in His presence, I saw a daughter sat on her father’s lap. As she sat there she looked at his hands which had all the marks of hard work, she felt his chin to see how much stubble he has and she gently held his throat as he spoke so she could hear him and feel him talking. Such intimacy that we can grab hold off.
Rooted in His Word
God reminds us in His word, “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear, I will help you” Isaiah 41v13. He is a deeply personal God. I am His Daughter and I am known. He knew I needed a Dad, He knew I needed to be held, He knows I need Him now and will do in the future and He holds my hand.
Such a beautifully personal story from Jax.
I’m so grateful for the vulnerability with which she’s shared.
It’s a helpful reminder that our daughterhood is the one thing that never changes. The changing feelings we experience, or the different circumstances that we face, never change the truth of who God is. And in turn, who we are as His children.
Our next devotional is all about helping you to get secure in being a daughter first. Maybe you’ve known it and need reminding. Perhaps you’ve never known what it really means to live that way.
Either way, we’d love you to join as we go deeper into exploring identity.
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Can’t wait to go on this journey together!
Love from Ro x
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