Ro's Story
It all starts and ends with Him. Obviously!
I was super blessed to be brought up in a Christian family with parents and grandparents who love Jesus. This foundation is something that rooted me in truth from a young age, and meant when I grew I was always sure of God and understood His sovereignty. For this I am so grateful.
Where do I belong?
Becoming a teenager came with many challenges for me, as I know it does for so many of us! By nature I’m a bit of a rebel, but I also like to be accepted and approved of, which makes navigating the social pressures of the teenage world pretty tricky. Who was I? Where did I fit in? Who did I belong to? Where were my crew?
Having spent the early years of my life moving regularly, and internationally - four times to and from Australia - I was left with a huge sense of not belonging anywhere. This developed into deeply rooted insecurities; friendships, cultures, even personal passions.
I didn’t know what I wanted to do, didn’t know who I was, was never 100% sure of my passions since I seemed to have so many. I wasn’t sure where I fitted in, if anywhere at all.
A Firm Foundation
Over the years I attended Christian festivals and continued to be exposed to regular church attendance. All of these things I can look back on and gratefully say that a lot of this cemented the bedrock of my faith, even if I may not have known it at the time.
As my 20s approached I headed off to university unsure of who I was, which is a dangerous and vulnerable position for any young woman as she enters a world with so many contradicting narratives and demands for attention. At one point I went on an Alpha course with a friend but remained unconvinced that living a life sold out for Jesus was for me. Ha! The grace of God and the arrogance of me. As if it’s even a choice?!
During my final year at university I met and fell in love with my now husband. He wasn’t a Christian at the time but he was a good man; full of honour, integrity and strength and so far beyond any of the other frogs I’d kissed along the way. I felt safe, happy and at peace with him. We chose to have a civil ceremony since he was an atheist at the time and I also felt it would be hypocritical of me to get married in God’s house whilst not being in relationship with Him. I never denied God’s existence but I did ignore His existence and significance in my life.
Pursued by Love
God never stopped pursuing me though and He remained faithful even as I arrogantly went about living life my own way. On the surface I had it all - a good job, a lovely husband, a nice house but deep down I was unfulfilled and dissatisfied.
After a weekend doing all the usual things people do when they want to numb the feeling of emptiness; shopping, drinking and partying with friends, I found myself alone so of course switched on the TV so as not to be confronted further with my feelings of restlessness.
It just so happened to be ‘Songs of Praise’ that I’d switched on and the traditional hymn How Great Thou Art was belting from the screen.
As I sat watching I broke down in tears.
I realised God’s voice was getting louder and louder; “Ro, it’s time to come home”.
Getting Right With God
I called a Christian friend who drove 40 miles to come and see me when she realised how emotional I sounded over the phone. One of the most important observations someone’s ever made in my life - “it sounds like you want to give your life back to God”. Yes! Yes, I did!
I knew I needed to. I knew I’d spent too long hiding, too long running, too long ignoring His voice in my life. His shout of acclamation had filled my heart and this time I couldn’t deny it.
I wanted to be right with God, to declare His greatness and goodness through my life.
Going Forward as a Family
Fast forward a few years to just after our daughter was born when I managed to get my husband along to an Alpha course. The timing fitted conveniently with the new time slot freed up by our previous weekly ante-natal classes!
His main motivation was to go along, argue a case against God and in his words “prove them all wrong”.
This is a whole other story, but I will tell you that on the final night when it was decision time I was called over by a friend suggesting I should come and pray with him as he’d decided to give his life over to Jesus!! This came as a massive shock for me, and for him initially I think, but I will be forever grateful that Holy Spirit nudged him enough to make a commitment to follow Jesus at this stage in our lives.
We quickly became plugged into a fabulous local church and were privileged to be surrounded by friends and leaders who invested in our spiritual growth.
We got baptised on Easter Sunday and I have grown SO much more in love with Jesus as I understand the sacrifice He made for me.
His love sustains me. I know I am loved. I know I belong. I know I’m accepted. Everything I’d been hungering for was satisfied in Him.
God of the Everyday
It’s not always been plain sailing and there is, of course, much more to my story since I was rebirthed in 2008 but I hope this encourages you.
God is the God of the everyday. He’s in the small, simple things as well as the big dreams and wild visions you have for your life. After all, as your Creator He knows what they are more than anyone!
If you’re feeling alone, if you’re feeling like you don’t belong, if you’re feeling as though there’s something missing in your life then I can absolutely guarantee that you will find yourself fulfilled in the One who made your soul.
Somewhere, I got lost along the way.
I forgot the truth that was sown deep within me during my formative years. And with full disclosure there have been days since coming home that I’ve doubted still, and forgotten what it feels to lean into the perfect love of my heavenly Father, seeking my worth and value elsewhere.
But I’ve learnt, and continue to remind myself, that we find our worth when we know His worth. We need to amplify His voice as the loudest in our lives.
C.S. Lewis says it perfectly, "God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."
I’ve known this to be true and I’ve also known the complete happiness and peace in God, which is far, far better than anything the world has to offer me.